Azure River
by November Alley
Summary: Set after the last episode. Atemu has left and Anzu can't help wishing him back. a selfish thought in her opinion. Can comfort come from the most unlikely person?


_Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or any of its characters._

_AN: This is set after the last episode of Yugioh._

**Azure River**

The river was peaceful, only turmoiled where their ship had passed through. The sun had set already and the stars started to appear. Probably everyone else was already asleep, at least they had left deck a while ago. Only Anzu was still standing at the rail of the stern, looking back.

It was useless, of course. The tomb of the pharaoh had faded from sight at least two hours ago. But still, Anzu couldn't take her eyes of the river behind them. She hated every inch the ship moved and brought her farther away from him.

Him.

Yugi… the other Yugi… Atemu.

Anzu tried to suppress the tears coming up again by the very thought of him. He was gone. He had found peace, finally, after waiting for millennia! He deserved this peace.

Still, Anzu couldn't help but wishing he would be here.

It was a selfish wish, she knew that. She usually wasn't selfish. Anzu worried about her friends and also about other people she knew. If that was the case, shouldn't she be happy that Atemu had finally found his peace?

"Deep in thoughts, Mazaki?" a deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Too deep, I guess." she answered. "And what brings you here, Kaiba?" She tried to put up a smile when she faced the young CEO, but she knew it wasn't very convincing.

"Nothing in particular." Kaiba replied. "I only wanted to spend some time in the fresh air."

"Do I disturb you?" Anzu asked.

Kaiba shook his head and looked onto the river.

"You know… I would expect you to stand at the other side of the ship." Anzu remarked, trying to distract her mind from Atemu.

"Is this your way of telling me to leave?" Kaiba asked smirking.

"N-no!" Anzu replied. "It's just… I'd expect you to look forward, not back."

"Ah, so the position is symbolic? Then tell me, why are you looking back?" Kaiba asked.

Anzu sighed. "It's… It's nothing." she whispered.

Kaiba laughed lowly. "Sure, nothing. And because of nothing you've been standing here since we started. Interesting."

"It's not your business what I'm doing, Kaiba!" Anzu snapped, fearing that she might cry in front of him. He would not – could not – understand! Not Kaiba, who never cried, probably forced himself never to cry… never to show any weakness…

"Ah, you're getting aggressive." Kaiba commented. "Shall I tell you why you keep staring back? It's quite obvious."

Anzu shook her head, but Kaiba didn't mind.

"You apparently want to go back to that temple. But that's useless, Mazaki. You won't return to that temple, and even if you did – he's gone. All you will find there is an empty grave." Kaiba told her.

Anzu bowed her head, feeling tears running down her cheeks. She knew he was right, but she couldn't take it.

"This isn't your worst problem, of course." Kaiba stated in the same untouched voice. "You blame yourself that you simply let it happen. You tried to hold him back, but you failed. And now he is gone forever. You have no chance of ever seeing him again, at least in this life. To use your friends' words: You screwed it up!"

"That's enough!" Anzu shouted. "I had no right to hold him back, Kaiba! He's been searching peace for so long – he deserves it! Who am I to stand in his way?"

Kaiba watched her with an interested smirk. "Ah, so now you are finally crying." he said calmly.

"What do you mean?" Anzu asked.

"Since he left you've been looking as if you were about to cry. But you didn't until now. I'm impressed." Kaiba explained.

Anzu sighed. "It's… I didn't want anyone to see me cry." she whispered. "I didn't want to cry at all. You should understand that."

If these words had touched him, he concealed it quite well. "Because I would never do it? Maybe, but I have my reasons. And yours are different. I won't cry because it's a sign of weakness – what is your reason?"

Anzu closed her eyes. Was that really Kaiba? Why did he understand her so well? "I don't want them to see me cry… because I have no right to cry." she explained.

Again, Kaiba surprised her. "Why not?" he asked.

"Pardon?"

"Why should you have no right to cry?" Kaiba repeated. "You lost someone. Normally, people cry because of that."

Anzu shook her head. "This is no normal case, Kaiba. I… It's just that… I'm only thinking of myself and my own pain. I should be happy that Atemu finally came to rest."

"What's wrong with thinking of your pain?" Kaiba inquired.

"Because it is selfish!" Anzu explained.

Kaiba laughed. "Selfish?" he asked. She nodded. "I see." Kaiba said. "I start seeing your problem, Mazaki. You're not selfish enough."

"What? You don't understand a thing, Kaiba!" Anzu protested. "My problem is that I'm too selfish!"

"Do you even understand the meaning of the word selfish?" Kaiba asked, now sounding slightly angry. "Just look at yourself! All the time you look after everyone else, try to make things better for other people and help them with your problems. And look at them! They accept your help, they tell you how grateful they are – and then they continue with their own lives. What if you have a problem, Mazaki? Where are your precious friends now? All those you cared for? Can you see any of them by your side, caring for your pain? I see no one!"

Anzu blinked unbelieving. Kaiba was talking himself into a rage, not even realizing that she had stopped crying.

"You call yourself selfish? You've given so much of yourself to other peoples that you don't even know what to do when you have no one to look after! You're only used to other people's problems, you can't even handle your own anymore. But you have problems. And nobody is here to solve them for you, so apparently you have to do that yourself. Nobody is here, helping you cope with your pain, so you have to get over it by yourself. Damn, everybody feels pain sometimes! It's not selfish to feel it in your situation!"

He stopped, when he noticed that she was smiling. "What?" he asked.

Anzu laughed lowly. "I don't think I ever heard you say so much before." she said.

Kaiba snorted and turned back to the river. They were both silent for a while. Anzu pondered the things he had told her. She had never thought about it like this. She had helped others because… because she believed that it was necessary that people helped each other. Because she wanted to do at least something to make the world better, no matter how silly it sounded. Could it be that over helping others she had neglected her own problems? She had fallen in love with Atemu ages ago, but never dared telling him, fearing that it might damage their friendship or hold him back on his way. She had helped him with everything, and now she was left behind with nothing but memories… That wasn't all true, she still had her friends. And Atemu had deserved this peace…

Did she neglect her own life for others' sake? She couldn't even answer this question. Then, she wondered when she had done something for herself the last time, something she wanted to do, something that wasn't accompanying a friend on doing something.

That date she went to with Atemu… But apart from that?

Anzu looked at Kaiba. He was often called selfish, a judgement she had always doubted. She knew that he cared much about his little brother and about his company – even the way he had talked to her proved that he wasn't selfish!

Was she?

"Why does it upset you so much?" Anzu asked shyly.

Kaiba turned his head so she couldn't see his face. "You simply don't deserve to be called selfish." he replied.

Anzu frowned. Could it be? Could it actually be that Kaiba… cared?

"Maybe you're right." she said lowly. "I'm just used to care for everybody else, I usually don't worry too much about my own problems…"

Kaiba shrugged and continued watching the river.

"But you were wrong in one point." Anzu said.

Kaiba turned to her, raising an eye-brow. "What point would that be?"

Anzu smiled at him. "The point that nobody I ever cared about was here to help me – you are here. And I'm very grateful for that." She took one of his hands and pressed it shortly. "Thank you, Kaiba. I think I'll be better now." she said.

For a moment, he stared at her in surprise, then he snorted. "Whatever!" he replied and looked back at the river again. Smiling, she followed his gaze, not letting go of his hand.

* * *

AN: Here I go, with a oneshot about Kaiba and Anzu. For those who think "WTF?" let me explain. Realizing how poor Anzu was treated by 4crap and that their result Tea had not much in common with the original character, I started to rethink my Anti-Anzu-attitude and decided that it wasn't justified anymore. With that realization, I stopped hating the Azureshipping. So maybe I will write that pairing, too. We will see.  
Now back to the story: They might seem a little OOC, but I hope it still is okay and I caught their personalities well.  
Anything else? Not at the moment. Please review.  
Bye,  
SP 


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